how to stop yourself from feeling hungry
people get so caught up on one small thing they don’t like, like their nose or something
things like salt and baking powder go into a cake and those things are gross alone but the cake is pretty damn delicious
this is the best fucking thing I’ve ever read
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if you ever feel embarrassed about yourself just remember that on my first day of 8th grade I wore 30 hairclips, a pink tutu, a giraffe backpack, fake rainbow hair extensions, invader zim shoes and shoe laces, pink fishnet arm warmers and about 34 bracelets and necklaces and ran around saying “nya” for 3 hours until the principal made me change
ARE THERE PICTURES
5:00: oh boy Chinese food
5:05: I ate way too much Chinese food
5:10: oh boy leftover Chinese food
5:00: oh boy Chinese food
5:05: I ate way too much Chinese food
5:10: oh boy leftover Chinese food
The way you make me feel: like sunlight dancing on a shimmering bed of coral on the oceans floor, golden candles lit upon a thickly frosted birthday cake, laying underneath a Christmas tree looking up at the glowing lights like little stars, freshly picked strawberries laid in a bowl of sugar like a soft blanket of crystalline snow, jewel caterpillars hugging bright leaves.
my cat has been fucking playing me for weeks, playing me like a fucking harp. I feed my cat twice a day with prescribed diet food because she’s really fat and doesn’t know when she’s full so she never stops eating. usually when I come home from class she is all over me like the whore of babylon all over me putting on a pity party and trying to get me to sin and give her more food but no matter what I only feed her the amount of food for her prescribed diet. but after awhile i started noticing that she wasn’t loosing weight at all and was actually just getting fatter. so I called the vet pissed and i’m just like the fuck she’s still getting fat. so I switched her to another diet food and that still didn’t work and I was so confused and frustrated like what is wrong with this cat? so a couple weeks go by and I start noticing that I go through bags of food really fast like a week fast and I remembered how I thought that was so weird like I God honest could not figure out why the food disappeared so fast (my former naive and innocent mind) well y'all ready here’s the fucking climax - the other day my class was canceled and I come downstairs at like noonish and do you know what I see when I get down? I see my fucking cat sitting in the food bin. with my own two eyes I see her sitting in the fucking food bin. my spoiled ass cat has been eating like a fucking queen and living it the fuck up while I’m in class and then pretends like she’s hungry when I get home. and you know what’s the real kicker? when she leaves the lid gets knocked shut which is why i never caught onto her scam. she’s fucking been working the system and playing the food game right under my fucking nose like i want to scream and now I have to call the vet and the morning and explain to him how I, a well educated adult in college, got one-upped in intelligence by my fucking cat
Read the whole thing.
You should never give up on love just because you’ve had terrible memorable things that have happened to you . It’s like having a taste of a bad bite of food but never wanting to eat food again.
